Little White Lies My Mother Told Me

Posted on October 19, 2010


VW Ice Cream Van

Image by Andy Field (Hubmedia) via Flickr



I remember when I was growing up there was a number of things that my mum would say to me and as a trusting child I believed them.  I find that now I’m a parent there are occasions that some of them just pop out, even though I swore when I had children I never would use them:

  •  “If you don’t eat your crusts, your teeth will go curly” I had a morbid fear that I would end up with humongous curly teeth and religiously I would eat my crusts.  So it never happened – Phew how lucky was I? Now I find out my mum got it wrong it’s all about the hair, not the teeth.
  • “The wind will change and you will stay like that” I went around for about a week with a permanent smile etched on my face just in case I was caught out by a gust of wind.
  • “You’ll grow into it” Years of school uniforms with arms dragging on the ground, seriously Mum you made me look like an orang-utan!
  •  “The Ice Cream van only plays music when they are out of Ice Cream” – “but Mum, all those people are queuing for ice cream” “No sweetie they are workers and they are being paid”.  For this I grew up thinking you got paid by the product you worked with and I grew up wanting to work in a sweet shop.
  • “How many times do I have to tell you?” – Obviously just once more.
  • “You’ll get square eyes if you sit that close to the telly”
  • “If everyone else jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?” Yes mum because comparing that I want to go to the park because my friends are going, means we all want to take our lives lemming style.
  • “That’s your punishment from God” – Every time I did something cheeky or naughty, next time I hurt myself my mum would always declare it was my punishment.  Somehow I must have liked being punished because it never worked.
  • “Slow down. You’ve got your whole life to be a grown up” – How true was this one?
  • “If it doesn’t kill you, it’ll make you stronger.” – Does it matter that I would be none the wiser if it did.
  • “Finish your vegetables—there are children starving in Africa!” – I know I got to a certain age and then rebuffed this with a cheeky comment of “Send it to them then because they won’t like your cooking either”

I remember there was a time she would utter one of these sayings and I would take it so literally but the best thing my Mum ever said to me was “No matter what, I love you” and personally, I don’t think there’s ever enough times as a child you can hear that.

Do you have any sweet, strange or funny sayings that you remember being said as you were growing up? if so feel free to leave me a comment.